I had such a disastrous 2016 because I found out my son had brain cancer while his wife was pregnant with their second child. The first one was only two years old at that time. To make matters worse, I had family problems so I could not even have access to my son so that I would be kept updated. People on Facebook had more information than I, about his case. This tidbit, in itself is a long story and I do not want to touch it. All you need to know is that God was good to me. He broke every barrier that was erected for me not to have access to my son and be in his life. In the end, I got access to him after surgery. During that time, I thought I was going crazy and I had to do everything in my power to remain sane and strong and avoid going through a depression.
2017 has not been better. My son had to get radiation and after that, he had to go through chemo. While he was going through chemo, I got a phone call from him and my heart fell to my feet when I heard him said his last MRI, revealed the cancer has returned in his brain and he needed to have surgery again. Having my son being ravaged by cancer is not as painful as knowing that not only he does not know the Lord, but over the years, he has been so disappointed by ‘religion’ that his heart has harden toward God. So, at this point, my son reminds me so much of Pharaoh with his harden heart vis a vis God. God has been somewhat silent on the matter. The only thing He told me is to keep trusting Him and be patient. He reminded me that I have surrendered my son to Him, few years ago. He also reminded me that no matter what happen, He will strengthen me and will always be by my side. All this is happening while I have a soap opera going on around me in my family.
Even before all these things, my situation was already shaky and in my mind, I thought it was temporary and in due time, God would change my circumstances. So, in trying not to fall into depression, I found myself kind of ‘staying away from God’. I have no idea what to call this ‘season’ that I have been going through. One thing I was always mindful of is that I had to be careful not to distance myself too much from God because backsliding is too easy. So, His grace kept me from wandering off too far. After a while, He decided it was enough and I had to come back to the life I had with Him. So, the past few weeks have been times of restoration. I was judged and rebuke big time, by Him. Although I had regrets in my heart for having acted this way toward Him, I begged Him for days to give me what I had experienced few years ago when I found out what true repentance meant. He did indeed hear me and granted my desire as He allowed me to experience Godly repentance so that I can deal with Him personally.
Today, I was reading Philippians 3:14, the Spirit of God reminded me that Paul was in prison, yet his spiritual life went forward with God. He emphasized to me the fact that Paul’s life would have appeared to everyone that his situation was temporary, and Paul would have had the rights to take it slow and wait and see. But, He showed me, just like Paul, the goal for me is to go forward with my spiritual life, there is no time to pause because the race calls for constant movement forward whether through the pain, the uncertainties, the lack of comfort and the unknown. What He needs from me is to cultivate the right attitude and frame of mind to cultivate “His mind” as I bring myself daily to a place of purposely surrender and press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Then, He said ‘what did you think Paul meant when he said that? He continued…, this is where you are, this is the crossroads you are at now, this is the life, choose to move on with me’! But not only He said those things, right then and there, He willed me to do just that and continue the walk with Him.
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY SON’S HEART TO SOFTEN TOWARD GOD. He is surrounded by spiritual warfare, based on his environment. I do not want to say more about the other side of the story that would shed light on how he managed to be in such an hostile environment to God. I do not want to give Satan more ammunition against someone else. But, those of you with the spirit of God, will understand. So, PRAY THAT THE LIGHT OF GOD WOULD PENETRATE HIS HEART HE WOULD UNDERSTAND, HEAR AND MADE WILLING TO HUMBLE HIMSELF AND EMBRACE HIM AS HIS LORD AND SAVIOR. PRAY THAT HE WOULD UNDERSTAND WHY WE ALL NEED A SAVIOUR in Christ. I have shared the gospel with him and has provided him with a Bible.
So, this is my story and I hope God uses it and the internet to strengthen someone else
In His Agape Love,
M.J. Andre
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