As I was reading Oswald Chambers today, I cringed, because I could still taste this lesson in my soul. You see it is easy to repeat those words and feel good about ourselves. It is easy to get all sentimental, thinking, 'I have His promise for ever He will not forsake me no matter what.' Then we go on with a false assurance thinking that everything is “groovy”.  I know it because until I understood Salvation from God’s point of view, if someone would have told me that there was more to it than feeling good about reading these things, I would have been very unhappy. Why? Because when we live in our ignorance, it is not that we do not know something is missing, but we do not dare go deeper to find out what is missing. Somehow in our mind we convince ourselves to remain just where we are and live with some kind of emotional Christianity all the while convincing ourselves that God is satisfied and all is well.

Imagine my surprise during the wilderness time that I was experiencing with Him, a time where my soul was already isolated, wounded, and hollow. I found out it was important to Him that these beautiful words I so treasure in my head and felt so good about, had to make their way to my heart. Frankly, I could not understand what God’s problem was since I was feeling so good when I read these things? Just the fact that they made me feel so good toward Him should be enough for Him. Besides, nobody ever told me there was another layer to it, so why was the Holy Spirit rocking my boat?

You see, true Christianity demands that those words, enter our heads, go down to our hearts, where the Holy Spirit weave them in us. At that time, God made me experience the coolness of having ears in our hearts. I remember saying, wow! I have ears in my heart. Since this experience persisted and I woke up the next morning as if someone had put my ears in my heart and those two ears I have attached to my head, were completely irrelevant. In fact they were useless to God. Then I ask Him “why is it I can only hear with my heart?” That’s when the Spirit explained things to me. Suffice to say I lived out three awesome days where I could have been deaf and it would not have mattered to me because I had a different set of ears which I found out is part of the new heart.

There is a big difference between hearing with our heads and hearing with our hearts. The Pharisees who missed out on Christ, one of their problems was that the word of God could never take root within. All they possessed of their religion, was part of their intellect and they felt holier than thou, yet that was enough for them. This is us today if we insist living shallow lives and never let the Holy Spirit move freely in our lives. Again, the Israelites in the wilderness missed out on God’s blessings because they could not get that. Notice that every time they finished enjoying a blessing of God, He then tested them. They never passed one single test, because everything was at the level of their heads and emotions.

When I lost everything in the wilderness, only one friend offered me a place to stay until I get back on my feet. Somehow I knew that’s not what God had in mind for me and He kept telling me in my heart where He wanted me to go. At that time, it defied logic that God would send me to live with one of the meanest person I know. Yet, it was amazing in the way it happened; I did not have to beg. Soon, I found out God intended to test my heart whether I believe or not that He will never forsake me. As far as I was concerned that was the wrong timing because too much was going on in my life at once. But, God did not care.

Imagine having to live in a place where you are constantly reminded where the doors are? Imagine when you act as if you do not understand, it was spelled out for you over and over again? The daily roller coaster, the emotional torture and the fear of being on the streets were enough to drive me crazy. All the while God was making sure I knew that going to my friend’s place who invited me few months back, was not an option. I went through this for months with the wrong attitude and wrong beliefs. God was waiting for me to get to the right place, in the meantime, the Holy Spirit was working out salvation in other parts of me, within me. When over a year has passed and I had the same problem to deal with, the stress of this life was killing me. Only then, I was willing to HEAR God. You see, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and what my life has become. Too busy feeling the pain of the true Christian life and too busy reassuring myself with the wrong Bible verses, to hear what He was trying to accomplish in me and with me.

All He wanted was for me to change my attitude, stop fearing the idea of being homeless, and trust that He is in control. He wanted me to stop worrying. Yet, He offered no other assurance that if I stop fearing the idea of being homeless, I was not going to be homeless. Then, He made me understand that if I could not find peace through knowing that He is truly God, He is in control, and let go of my life in His care even when I do not understand. If I could not stop being afraid of the outcome where it seemed that nothing was to my advantage, and the end result was humiliation and dying on the streets, that would mean to Him that His word does not matter to me. It would mean to Him that I do not trust Him and I do not have faith in Him.

Through this lesson I learned two things. When we can see the circumstances of our lives through His eyes, it is because the word of God has made its way through the heart, it is no longer at the level of the intellect and the emotion. Secondly, when we set out to obey His word through our circumstances, we make the decision to trust and have complete faith and no matter what He decides for us, it is well with the soul, then the impartation process takes place.

When I made the decision to stop being afraid, just trust Him in whatever He decided for me in this situation I was in, I knew the worst could happen to me. I also had to find a peaceful way to live with it. When you find that peaceful way, it is all well with your soul, because you stop claiming and fighting for your rights. You stop feeding the self, the flesh (dying to self.) by the way, this is part of the process of discipleship that Christ was talking about in luke 14:33 and it is also salvation being worked out in your soul. I truly hope through this you can see why salvation cannot be separated from sanctification and discipleship process. Anyway, as you stop claiming your rights to self, you realize, you actually stepped into the new life you have in Him. As you deal with these trials and circumstances, His way, those words like “He will never leave me, nor forsake me” become the fibber of who you are and what you are made of, because He works them out in you. 

As I grew more and more spiritually, I found out these circumstances as I shared above, were only basic faith being worked out in me. When it comes to working out salvation in us, God usually kills 100's of birds with one stone. Here is the kicker, you find that every day is a challenge to live out this life truly knowing in your heart and soul, that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Every day is an opportunity to truly trust and have faith In Him!

Courtesy of: God Endures Forever Blog

The Never-Forsaking God

06

04

2013

He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you’ —Hebrews 13:5

What line of thinking do my thoughts take? Do I turn to what God says or to my own fears? Am I simply repeating what God says, or am I learning to truly hear Him and then to respond after I have heard what He says? “For He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ’The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’ ” (Hebrews 13:5-6).

“I will never leave you . . .”— not for any reason; not my sin, selfishness, stubbornness, nor waywardness. Have I really let God say to me that He will never leave me? If I have not truly heard this assurance of God, then let me listen again.

“I will never . . . forsake you.” Sometimes it is not the difficulty of life but the drudgery of it that makes me think God will forsake me. When there is no major difficulty to overcome, no vision from God, nothing wonderful or beautiful— just the everyday activities of life— do I hear God’s assurance even in these?

We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing— that He is preparing and equipping us for some extraordinary work in the future. But as we grow in His grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, at this very moment. If we have God’s assurance behind us, the most amazing strength becomes ours, and we learn to sing, glorifying Him even in the ordinary days and ways of life.

Courtesy of: http://utmost.org/

Yesterday there were a few emails between a kindred sister in Christ that I met on LinkedIN website a few months ago. Through our emails we shared how our lives both suck yet God does not light up at all. We are both surrendered to Him, we both have been through very hard times with Him and we both have intimacy with Him. Yet, through our emails we were amazed to see how God keeps testing us for the same reasons.  So we encouraged each other and I went to bed. To my surprise I read Oswald Chambers devotional today and it is exactly what we talked about in our emails. I give you my word that I did not read the devotional yesterday nor I knew what the subject was about. It is just one more way God uses to strengthen those who are committed to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9)

I already shared in different posts how my life with God seems to suck. Even though I am out of the wilderness, God does not seem to be in a hurry to do anything that I have come to expect from all the testimonies I read and heard from friends after they left their wilderness time behind. It got so bad that for a few minutes a doubted that I was in His will for my life. To me, it was either that or God had chosen to pick on me. At one point I was pleading my case with Him to share with me what was going on because if indeed I was out of His will for my life I needed to correct the situation. But He never answered me, yet He seems to come at me at all angles. In fact, I did not label what was happening to me “spiritual warfare” nor that I saw Satan in it. I knew very well it was God’s doing. I got a bit annoyed because I could not see the use of it.  I kept asking why when I just finished spending seven years in the wilderness with you, why is it the testing is not going away? What is going on? I got to the point where I really got stressed out. The answer came recently when I insisted on one question “am I doing something wrong in the way I follow you?  Then He basically said to me “bingo”

It turns out by getting all riled up about how my life sucks it was exactly the lesson I missed. He wanted to show me because I have gone through a surrender process with Him for about nine years now (I surrendered all almost two years before He took me to the wilderness) I am to constantly be very aware of thinking that I cannot stumble into that area. To prove His point, He shared with me, while in the wilderness I would have surrendered in a flash all those things that have been happening to me and caused my life to suck, and He was right. When I realized how I failed Him miserably, I surrendered all the mess my life has become since my so called “coming out of the wilderness.” Even though in some of those things, I needed Him to act now, but I learned to say “may your will be done regardless what I expect or desire.”

But even after this sharing time with Him, instead of getting a break He sets out to test me once again. This past Sunday I worshipped Him for about two hours without anything big happening. In the third hour He came and divulged to me two things that He wants for me because He is going to use me to reach other people. These things He told me, I do not want them anymore in my life. In fact I was praying for one of them to go away, and when I realized the answer to my prayer was no, my heart ached but I could feel the Holy Spirit in me praying where my strength was lacking and all of the sudden I sang with all the strength I could muster “I stand with arms high and heart abandoned to the one who gave it all. I stand my soul Lord to you surrendered, all I am is yours. (This is a Hillsong song)

Just one I thought the testing was over, I got a phone call last night about my little brother who has been hospitalized and apparently it is so bad that everyone has gone over to see him and said goodbye. After they shared the complications he was facing along with his last word of love for me, my heart sank down like it contained bricks. I also realized I cannot hop on a train right away to see him because of all the complications in my life now that God decided not to remove or work out soon. So, I realized I had two pains to deal with: one my brother over the years has become an atheist, so he is on his deathbed  unsaved. The second thing is that I have not seen him for years and I might not see him before he died. As I was crying I said God when is enough is enough? At that time, I could feel the Holy Spirit strengthening me and reminded me, that it is one opportunity to give it all to Him and let Him deal with the consequences of it all. What my pain might be like tomorrow is irrelevant tonight, right this moment. I realized in that moment all that God cares is that I surrender all once again, and through His grace, I did. In exchange He gave me His peace. I am now praying and hoping for a miracle that my brother would live.

God tends to test us over and over again like He did with the Israelites in the wilderness. It is hard to remain strong unless we make it a point to walk in the Spirit because our flesh will fail us every time. If we are not walking in the Spirit through surrender, often times, we miss the point altogether because we cannot hear the Spirit or feel His nudges. The Israelites not only did not pass one test out of all those tests God set for them in the wilderness, and they also got tired of them. Oswald Chambers is right in his assessment because many of God's strong man stumbled over their strong points. When I look at my trials now, in this light, I realize God is not picking on me He is actually strengthening me to avoid more pain later in my walk with Him. As I got hold of what is truly happening with me, my heart was filled with tenderness toward Him and I felt bad to the need of repentance for being so upset, blind, resistant and ignorant these past few months. 

Beware of the Least Likely Temptation

04

19

2013

Joab had defected to Adonijah, though he had not defected to Absalom —1 Kings 2:28

Joab withstood the greatest test of his life, remaining absolutely loyal to David by not turning to follow after the fascinating and ambitious Absalom. Yet toward the end of his life he turned to follow after the weak and cowardly Adonijah. Always remain alert to the fact that where one person has turned back is exactly where anyone may be tempted to turn back (see 1 Corinthians 10:11-13). You may have just victoriously gone through a great crisis, but now be alert about the things that may appear to be the least likely to tempt you. Beware of thinking that the areas of your life where you have experienced victory in the past are now the least likely to cause you to stumble and fall.

We are apt to say, “It is not at all likely that having been through the greatest crisis of my life I would now turn back to the things of the world.” Do not try to predict where the temptation will come; it is the least likely thing that is the real danger. It is in the aftermath of a great spiritual event that the least likely things begin to have an effect. They may not be forceful and dominant, but they are there. And if you are not careful to be forewarned, they will trip you. You have remained true to God under great and intense trials— now beware of the undercurrent. Do not be abnormally examining your inner self, looking forward with dread, but stay alert; keep your memory sharp before God. Unguarded strength is actually a double weakness, because that is where the least likely temptations will be effective in sapping strength. The Bible characters stumbled over their strong points, never their weak ones.

“. . . kept by the power of God . . .”— that is the only safety. (1 Peter 1:5).

Courtesy of: http://utmost.org/

Commitment To The Faith

 

In my book "Apprehended & Apprehending" I have a small chapter about commitment. The reason commitment is so important to me and I felt I had to include it in the book is because while I had no idea what it meant to walk in the Spirit, the Holy Spirit was hard at work in the background to help me come up higher. I realize He has never let me be satisfied with my own explanations of the Word of God in the Bible. Pushing people to not be satisfied with data tucked away while living in the flesh, makes knowing someone like me, a little bit annoying if you like your comfort zone. It is harder if you are an immediate member of my family. But, in my defense, I have no idea how to live the Christian life any other way because the Holy Spirit targeted me right at the onset of Salvation.  (Although I suspect He targets all of us) I shared almost throughout every chapter of my book how He called me to come up higher over and over again. Since I talked about it at length, I will refrain from going into more details.

You see, while some professed Christians are busy separating Salvation, discipleship commitment and grace to excuse their behaviors God showed me they are all one in the same according to His standards at work in us. I was surprised to find out that Christ’s call to us in Mathew 16:24 “to take up our cross and follow” actually meant “make the commitment, come up higher, live like you have a Master and surrender to me at any cost.”  Later on, I was more surprised to find out that not only this is Salvation being worked out in me, but the strength to do all these above were in Him,  through His grace alone.  This walk, the Holy Spirit was constantly working in the background to get me to question what I understood only in the flesh, in order to get to the point where I would make the commitment to follow and step into my discipleship role. Indeed, making the commitment to Him to let Him be the Master of your life it is not an easy thing to do. When you make this commitment you know what you have done is in effect what all the other disciples in the Bible did as they left everything behind and follow Christ on the onset of His ministry. The commitment to follow Him, if it is done with the right understanding, attitude, motive and with the Holy Spirit makes you realize that you are aware you found something that deserve your full attention. You feel, there is a Master in town now, and you have to go with Him to hear what He has to say. Like Paul turning his back away from his honourable position with Gamael, like Peter leaving his lucrative fishing business behind, like Matthew the tax collector who left his booth and lucrative business to follow and so forth.  

Just in case you are wondering what I mean in the paragraph above when I said the right attitude, motivation and understanding it is about understanding we have to do it knowing even though it will hurt but it has to be done. We know this mean we will lose complete control over our lives and we are no longer in charge. It means going forward with His plans, not ours. It means we will have to be broken and the self has to be eradicated etc. The end result will mean fellowship, oneness, pride left behind to embrace humility, deeper worship and love for Him and so forth.

Being compelled to go forward is a work of the Holy Spirit in us. It is a work of grace and there is no way left on our own we would understand the need to go forward with Him. I was pleasantly surprised to find out how all of it relates to each other. Through receiving Him I received the light. If I receive the light and I am no longer the “old me”, then I need to learn how to live the new life. While the Church put together discipleship classes and preaching the Word to get us to understand this new life, but it is my duty to hear His call to come up higher. When we go forward to become His disciple, all we are doing is making a commitment to study with the Master. Why do we need to study with the Master? Because not only He needs us to accept our position as His pupil, He also needs our total commitment so that He can make real in us the work He has started, meaning Salvation.

So, God’s call and wooing to come up higher along with Christ giving us a choice to take up our cross and follow Him, plus we have Romans 12:1 where Paul told us to surrender ourselves to Him, are all the same. Meaning same goal, same purpose and all of it is wrapped up in a commitment to this life through His grace. When you live according to His standards, all of it is there in black and white, there is no need to hold a debate. Everything we have in this Christian walk build on each other. The whole thing is like building a foundation for a house where Christ is the builder and He is putting the materials needed together to build this house. While this house starts with Salvation entering our hearts and souls, but we cannot separate it from the builder and the materials needed to erect the house.

This post was meant to be Sunday’s post. But this morning in my quiet time with Him I read Oswald Chambers, I knew this was not a coincidence and that I had to switch the post. So, instead of ending with a prayer, I will end with copying Oswald Chambers devotion for you.

Keep in mind that the second chapter of my book which is about commitment to this life is available for you to download for free. Go to my website

www.apprehended.ca

Here is Oswald Chambers today's devotion

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me . . . —Galatians 2:20

These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself. God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus. Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, “. . . for My sake” (Matthew 5:11). That is what makes a strong saint.

Has that breaking of my independence come? All the rest is religious fraud. The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— “I have been crucified with Christ . . . .”

The passion of Christianity comes from deliberately signing away my own rights and becoming a bondservant of Jesus Christ. Until I do that, I will not begin to be a saint.

One student a year who hears God’s call would be sufficient for God to have called the Bible Training College into existence. This college has no value as an organization, not even academically. Its sole value for existence is for God to help Himself to lives. Will we allow Him to help Himself to us, or are we more concerned with our own ideas of what we are going to be?