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Showing posts with label christ likeness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christ likeness. Show all posts

18 April, 2013

A Melancholic Day With Him! - Part 2


I found out my post on Tuesday April 2, 2013 has reached an all time high. The reason seems to be that it is being downloaded by the same people as they revisit the site to read the post again.  While I am happy, the post got some people thinking, I would not want you to be ill-informed by reading too much into what I wrote.

Let me explain what I mean. Remember this life is a long journey and constant battle. Personally, the more I am growing in the Lord I am finding out Christianity is truly serious business and cannot be a past time even for a moment. So, what we learn from God, as blogger we write about it, often time it is what you would call a “to be continued” type of thing. Because by the time I wrote the blog on April 02, God has been talking to me on this issue, leading me to understand better and directing me in how He wants me to handle the situation. I am now at a point where I found peace about it because I know my will is not my own, it belongs to Him to do as He pleases, and also the fact that I was at fault in sinning big time.

I would not want you to misunderstand the idea behind it all. While it is true God wants us to understand and apply His Word as it is in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 but, understand that my motive to want these people in my life was not right with God. Every time I met with them I offended God in more ways than one because not only I was being disobedient to His Word, I also break my union with Him on purpose. This attitude was one of disrespect, offensive and ungrateful on my part. Furthermore, I failed on purpose to capture my selfish thoughts and bring them into captivity for His glory. I failed to fulfill His desires to cultivate the mind of Christ because you will find that once God sets you apart inwardly, it is exactly what happens. All of the sudden you know a life where I am tempted to say the Spirit takes control of your mind as He keeps injecting his thoughts in your mind to the point that sometimes it feels like you are flooded. I am sure some of you know what I am talking about; you find your mind 24/7 focusing on God no matter what you are doing. The strange thing is, when you sit and think about it, you are aware it is not you doing it, but the Holy Spirit’s work in you. 

To make matters worse, I have been in that frame of mind for years, and I was somewhat blind to my sin. I said somewhat, because deep in me I knew it was wrong to want to break the union with Him especially in this manner, but I minimized the sin, so it gave me an excuse to commit it over and over again. While God allowed it to be an ongoing thing in my life for years, but He also knows what is best for me and I know now that I have reached a place with Him where I cannot keep committing the same sin over and over again without affecting His plan for me. 

Through reading Leviticus, I understood God patience, mercy, grace, faithfulness and so on. But He is clear on the fact that we are not to mistake these attributes and take advantage of them, which is exactly what these Christians in 1 Corinthians 5 were doing. So, I have failed God because I used my own judgement in the flesh and put away righteous judgement as I was taught by the Holy Spirit while I was in the wilderness.

I needed a reminder from Leviticus because God could clearly see that I used righteous judgement to deal with some people in my life, as a result they never have the power to affect my relationship with Him. Yet, because it suited me, I did not use righteous judgement for another group and I allowed them to affect my relationship with God to the point that I dishonoured Him every time. God did not miss a thing in what I was doing. I really minimized those friends careless attitude toward God to suit my purpose.

When I had a chance to put it all into perspective (after my pity party) I realized my melancholy came from the fact that I was losing what I consider good friends but really behind it all, I knew I was found out and called into accountability by God. The other thing that caused my melancholy was also the fact that I needed to put away something that was pleasing to me.  It is really an amazing thing when we put God first, the angle we view what is happening to us changes completely.   

When we decide to apply those verses in our lives such as 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and cut off people who are considered toxic to our relationship with Him, we better make sure we find balance through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Before we cut ties with them, put it all in the hands of the Holy Spirit, remain willing to do as we are told with an open heart and He will come through for us (which is what I was supposed to do to begin with.) In fact in the past week, God showed me even though I sort of cut ties with these people, meaning the idea behind the friendships and the visits have stopped,  He still wants me to be available to interact with them, but  only whenever He sees fit. However He also made it clear that my relationship with them moving forward, will take the tone of a teacher for lack of a better word. 

Secondly, I questioned God because I have a couple of people in my life that are as bad if not worse (spiritually speaking.) He made it clear to me that He had His reasons for not including them. First, I am in a different frame of mind when I am with them. While I see these people often enough because I do not have a choice, but knowing who I am dealing with, I never let my guard down spiritually. So right then and there you can see how the motive and attitude matter to God. In my interaction with them, I never allowed their attitude toward God affect my relationship with Him and I can see a mile away, when Satan is using them to talk to me. The second reason He gave me for not including them is that He wants to use me in their lives, every time I see them.  

I hope I was able to shed some light on the first post and that while God is God and expects certain behaviour from us, we have to make sure He is leading before we get rid of some of our friends because we do not know who He wants to use us to help reach out to them. We find the right balance in Him alone. 

02 April, 2013

A Melancholic Day With Him!


Today I am having such a melancholic day that I felt the need to change the post.  On Easter Sunday I was having dinner with my son and his family and he asked some questions that I felt were hard for me to answer. I went on explaining to him that God is working in my life now in a way that I have no idea how to follow. I recall giving him an example of a dear friend of mine whom I know for more than twenty years. In the flesh I am trying so hard to hold on to this friend of mine, but in my heart and soul I could feel there was a work being done by another party and I am being told to take a different path. Granted, my friend is very stubborn when it comes to God and has never taken one step forward with Him. Sadly, this friend is one of those who believe once you say the sinner’s prayer whether you were pushed, bribed, intimidated, or because you wanted to err on the caution side, just in case there is a hell, then you get baptized and get yourself into a Church, well you are saved and you have a spot for you waiting in heaven no matter what.

I am the first one to be amazed at how when you are walking with God, even the trivial conversation God does not let go to waste. Since the conversation with my son, I felt so melancholic; I could not explain it and I tried my best not to ruin our time together. Little did I know God set out to make things clearer to me since yesterday. I spent the whole day where He was teaching me about 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. While I felt the study made me icky, because you cannot get into these things without being harsh, but this is one of those things that you do not choose with God because it is not about you. I had an understanding that I was being separated further which increased my melancholy because I have in place something that is more like my personal support system in the sense, when I am with these people, even though we can touch a conversation about God but I am not as absorbed with Him. These friends make me feel that for a moment I can take a break from God. To some extend I feel, I need this support because it allows me to be in the flesh and stop being so absorbed by God every minute of my life. Believe it or not when I am with these types of friends, it makes me feel like a simple human being.

This morning to my surprise I found out God is not finished with me. First of all, I was urged to go to Leviticus 17 -20 as I read these chapters, all He confirmed to me there is that He is still the same God and has never changed. Then I read Oswald Chambers devotion for today that cemented it all because of the part that He wanted to drill in my head. Oswald said: “Never allow anything to divert you from your insight into Jesus Christ. It is the true test of whether you are spiritual or not. To be unspiritual means that other things have a growing fascination for you. Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus, I’ve lost sight of all beside, So enchained my spirit’s vision, Gazing on the Crucified.

I cannot help being sad because one more time I am relieving the time when He took my right hand in His left hand to lead me to the wilderness. I knew I was leaving it all behind, Church friends etc. Times like that, you cannot help mourning because of the lost. It is like part of you is dying. Now, I know God is good but for now my heart is heavy and I need to mourn.

As I am writing this blog, the Holy Spirit made me understand that although I am sad because of what I am leaving behind, but there is something deeper going on. He then let me see how my heart is also heavy because I understand through my support system, I have sinned against Him and thwarted the work He needs to do in and with me. So, my need to be in the flesh to feel like a simple human being has to go.

“Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus, I’ve lost sight of all beside, So enchained my spirit’s vision, Gazing on the Crucified.” – This is where I failed Him and this is where I need to pick up the pace.